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She was scared. Desperately, mortally scared. She asked herself the same question she was going to ask Fran: if she wanted to escape? Only she didn't know. She couldn't make the decision now. And, when the time came, what decision would she make? |
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Renee collapsed on the bed and the sweat beaded on her body despite the chill in the room. It's the heroin, she told herself. It's the desire for heroin that's making me sweat. But she lied to herself, and she knew it. It was fear---fear that she wouldn't be strong enough when the time came to make a choice. Fear that maybe, just maybe, she would choose to live in her body as an animal, as a manifestation of lust, as nothing.
Quietly she cried herself to sleep. When Manuel came again, was it days or hours, Renee wondered dully? He unleashed them and let them sit up and eat bowls of foul smelling soup and bean tacos.