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The spot you are looking for is midway between the two areas described. Don't be worried you'll not find it or you won't do it right. Practice makes perfect---and, if he can still talk, he might tell you---or show you. So you've gotten to the middle part. Now press up and back firmly. No response? Try varying the area a bit. It's really not that big an area so it's pretty much a 'you can't miss it thing.' Take note of where he groans with pleasure---and with pain and, of course, avoid the latter....unless..... Massaging the perineum is intense even during regular sex; his orgasms will be more intense just as ours are when the clitoris is stroked in just the right way.
Tell yourself beforehand, that he may not be able to prevent ejaculation this way, so don't be disappointed if there is no penetration that time, depending on his rebound time. If you have to have penetration, and he may agree, stop when you know you need to stop. You probably know when this is better than he does. If this is the third date, you probably won't know---and shame on you for 'doing it' too soon. Yes, the three date rule has been moved ahead to allow more time to get to know each other.